Let's have a talk about..."The fear of Change"

Let’s have a talk about…

Change.

We might often encounter this strange fear for change.

We might, or we might not be aware of it at all times, but change is occurring in our lives every second we keep on living.

Now, while some changes may impact our lives more, we have to remember that every single change that we experienced got us in our current situation, in this particular moment.

As parents we tend to teach our children that things are either good or bad, and as the kids grow older they have a tendency to slash everything in their lives in two halves. It is either good, either bad.

Now especially if you know yourself as having an abusive background this “good” and “bad” limitation might sound extremely familiar to you.

There is need for us to understand in the first place that abuse can catch many forms.  It might be either emotional, physical or psychological abuse.

When we talk about abuse, we don`t have to only consider the severe cases and that is because we all experience life differently.

We are all unique and things affect us at different intensities. What is causing you pain, might be insignificant for other individuals, or might be too much for another person to handle. It doesn’t matter. All it matters is if it affects you.

 I personally think that if we could stop seeing everything as being right or wrong, good or bad, life would get a lot easier.

Fortunately, we are capable of that, once we realize that things are not only good or bad. Everything is both good and bad. You can picture the concept of Ying and Yang. Every aspect of our life has a bright side and a dark side, Pros and cons, positivity and negativity. Everything around us is bivalent.

Every “bad” experience is “bad” if you focus on the damage and negativity it provoked. What would happen if we’d take a break from judging ourselves, if we would stop looking through the eyes of someone that criticize us? What would happen if only for a moment we would start to see ourselves through loving eyes? Or accepting eyes?

Maybe we could start to see the “good” in “bad” and find order in chaos.

We might have all sorts of troubles or issues regarding relationships, life decisions, family, habits, etc.

We have all been desilusional about something at some point. We have all experienced disappointment, embarrassment and we have all suffered. But we all survived. 

We accept that there is room in our heart for both good and bad. We learn to live with it, but not worn by it.

Yes, it was hard. It was painful. It was humiliating. It was a burden and it made things heavy, or way too hard to carry. It made you angry or fearful and it put a hole right through your chest. BUT you are here. Stronger, better, wiser.

Most of the time the reason we are reticent to change is because we fear the unknown. And we don`t know what the unknown might be. So if we break this down we will see that we fear not the change, not the unknown, but what might wait on the other side. And usually what happens is that we project all our fears on the other side.

Are you scared of failing? You might be reticent about starting again. Because you know it is going to be different, and you fear the unknown…but what you don`t see…is that you project all that you know on the other side.

Which means that we fear what we know rather than what we don`t know. We fear our fears. And we might not be aware of it at all times.

And once we realize that it is not change we fear, but rather the way WE see it happening, all we have to do is imagine.

Allow yourself to picture a pleasant outcome, instead of that same old horror movie that kept you from changing. Or Fuck it, let’s get crazy and picture the perfect outcome.

Aaaand… just for the sake of it, to get even cockier, dare to see yourself there. As enjoying the satisfying outcome.

Let that pleasant feeling spread though out your body, allow it to make you feel whole again, fill that void in your tummy…ease the pressure of your chest…and lift the heaviness off your shoulders…

Observe how that energy will untie the knot around your neck and allow yourself to breathe again…in and out…Let that feeling silence the noise in your head and allow your inner voice to be heard.

Visualize yourself driving your dream car, all because you changed your career path, or kissing the person you very much love because you started to respect yourself more. Imagine yourself exercising in the mirror, stunned of your progress, after you gave up on some unhealthy habits.

It is crucial for us to have the balls to dream. To dare picturing our life the way we want it to be. AND more important, to be able to imagine OURSELVES living that life.

Even so...words are words and we believe in actions. And while words are extremely powerful, manifesting them can be game changing.

SO how can we test that "change" is nothing to be afraid of?

Simple.

Start small. You just have to start. The first push up is hard, but then it gets easier.

I will get more specific about some of the primary changes we can adopt when we are looking to improve our overall well being in a further article so stay tuned and awesome <3.